Today I was take into the out-patient eating disorder program at the Institute of Living at Harford Hospital. I saw a few girls in the waiting room, they looked at me werid, im hopig this won't be some little cliquish girl thing. I was expecting to see a bunch of stick-skinny girls there, but only one i could tell was that bad. The others were normal looking, like me. I really feel intstitutionalized (which i guess i am haha), they check our napkins and cups to make sure we arent skipping meals, ad tommorow i have to start at the "supervised table". I don't know if i can do this... 2 meals and 1 snack a day? I never eat more than one meal a day, i dont know. I havent eaten anything all day. Im kinda proud of myself in a totally sick, bulimic person sort of way, i never am able to make it through binge-hour without totally, well, binging. Im nervous about my first day tommorow, i wonder what everyone will think of me, i really dont want to have "buddies" (the people that welcome you into the facility) as my only friends for the duration of my stay. Oh well, good thoughts to sleep on.
-Sierra <3
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