Well surprisingly enough, my first day of treatment wasn't the hell i was expecting. Making it through breakfast was tough though... and my meal plan makes me feel like I'm constantly eating. Sadly, I'm still stuck at the supervised table, i couldnt finish breakfast or snack, though i managed to get through lunch. The girls were not at all like i thought they would be...no cliquish thing, so over all, though the meals SUCKED, the day wasnt horrrible, better than school at least. The night after was HELL though. The girls at the IOL (Institute of Living) all told me that emotions and shit come back once you feed your body, but i really didnt belive them.... until i started crying for no reason and completely freaking out. I felt like shit and was crying and screaming... I felt pretty fucking insane, i even started like talking to food (I know, im schizo). But yeah it was pretty messed up, I was starting to scare my cousins so my mom took them, but she wouldnt leave me alone because she thought i was gonna slit my wrists or something... needless to say, crazy shit. But the worst part was i couldnt take it, so i stopped it, by getting rid of the thing that was causing my temporary insanity.... the food. So i guess that means im back to square one now, but tonight i think i may have to make it through without popping a few of my cousins metatonin (sleeping pills)... well wish me luck, tonight i guess i go insane.
-Sierra
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