Thursday, August 5, 2010

When the going gets tough, the tough get going (and I hide behind ED)

Wow, I kinda am having the urge to walk in front of a bus. One of the reasons being.... i just spent forever away from my home, away from my comfort zone, and away from my safe food. My one safe food, strawberrys.... why i will eat strawberries but not celery escapes me. Another one of ED's crazy ideas.... and speaking of ED.... it our 1 year ANA-versary (i would think of one for mia buttt this one seemed just perfect)... yup, its been officially a year to the day since I recieved my diagnosis, anorexia with purging syndrome and later bulimia.... sooo.... needless to say, my week has been a total fucking mess... Shall we say BULIMIA... yeah i had almost forgotten all about that part of my disorder, as I have been mostly dealing with ana latley, the little bitch. And now mia's decided she's never gonna let me forget. Binge, binge, purge restrict. And i feel sooo BAD BAD BAD..... but yet... im still living... life is werid that way.

And Ill going to counseler at a sleep away camp on sunday for a week... so... hurray for mac n cheese, pancakes, and other various foods that put me at the danger zone for anxiety...well... at least there is gonna be another girl there that i know who is anorexic, ha... i met her before all this bullshit even happened to the both of us.... hopefully she wont let me slip to far over the edge to the point of no return (aka. relapse.... only for the millionth time)

Okay, well, wish me luck guys <3.. and thanks for reading haha


                                    -Sierra <3

1 comment:

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