Stitch me back up when I'm falling apart

well the last few days have been fun... Losing weight and of course my warped little brain absolutly loves it..urgg and then of course I had to be rushed to the ER after a particularlly messy cutting incident, needless to say came back home with a few new stitches... Just wonderful, and the worst part is, the only part of that night I remeber was the look on the nurses face as she was stitching me back together again...disgust. Is that really who I am? The girl in the ER, the girl on IVs and weight gain therapy, the girl with scars running up and down her arms ( legs, ankles) I don't want to be that person... Please help me, I need to feel something besides hurt, besides pain.... At least this time I had someone to stitch me back together when I've fallen apart once again.